For most people, our 20s represent a time when our adult lives first begin to take shape. It’s usually the period when we’re finding our feet in the world, and realizing for the first time just how complicated life can be. Despite this,our 20s still come with an effervescenceand energy that helps us take it all in our stride. We may still cling onto the last remnants of our youth, balancing the carefree feeling from our teenage years with the blossoming of our early careers.
Some of us may settle down in this time, even get married, and have children. For others, our 20s may represent the last decade when we can still explore our wilder sides before taking those steps. Either way, for anyone in their 30s, it’s likely that it feels like we blink and suddenly find that our 20s are over just like that. For most people, our 30s represent a much different vibe. It’s usually the time when the craziness of our 20s gives way to a more mature outlook, and likely, a time to really start focusing on the direction we want to take the rest of our lives in.
Many may choose this as the time to settle down career-wise or relationship-wise, and life often becomes even more complicated with this phase of adulting. As far as relationships go, some of us may be well settled already by now. Sadly, for others, it’s an all too common occurrence that the emotional pangs of divorce may be a reality, or we may simply have a clearer picture now of what we want out of our love lives after a handful of failed attempts.
This is usually why romance films tend to hit a little harder in our 30s. Having more life experience lets us appreciate the finer nuances of such films, having now gone through the good and bad of dating life, or even marriage by this point. So, if you’re in your 30s and looking for some great romance films that might mean a lot more to you now, here are 15 of our favorite romance films to watch in your 30s.
Love & Other Drugs
When a womanizing pharmaceutical sales rep named Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal) has a chance encounter with Maggie (Anne Hathaway), the pair hit it off immediately.Love & Other Drugstells a different kind of love story, since Randall is ambitious and all about the fast life, while she’sa free-spirited Parkinson’s patientdealing with the harsh realities of her prognosis. They begin a sexual relationship, but it’s soon evident that there’s a far deeper connection between them, despite the fact that her illness makes for a tricky future life together.
Related:Best Romance Movie Directors, Ranked
Why It’s a Great Romance Film to Watch in Your 30s
The chemistry between the pair is undeniable. However, rather than a sappy or contrived love story, this one wrenches the heart strings, tugging at the viewer’s emotions while we see the best and worst of each partner play out. Despite their tough moments, the film ultimately shows us that true love crosses boundaries and isn’t all butterflies and roses.
Love, like anything else worth experiencing in life, is hard and requires us to sacrifice, compromise, and be willing to accept all the complications it comes with — things we may not always have the patience or emotional resilience to accept when we’re younger.
Stream on Prime Video
Bridesmaids
Bridesmaidsmay not seem like a romantic film, since it’s dressed up as a hilarious comedy starring SNL alumni Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph,as well as Rose Byrneand Melissa McCarthy. It features Wiig as Annie, a lovelorn woman whose life is a mess. When she learns that her lifelong best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) is getting married, Annie has to serve as the maid of honor but is drawn into an immature contest with Helen (Byrne), who is Lillian’s new friend and constantly upstages Annie.
Why It’s a Great Romance Film to Watch in Your 30s?
Annie’s lovelife is a mess, though one that’s brought on by her own bad decisions as she constantly allows herself to be used and treated poorly by undeserving partners. She has so much more to offer, but her insecurities and hang-ups keep her from showing herself the kind of self-love and self-acceptance she deserves. That is until she meets a man who initially seems nothing like her type, but goes on to bring out the best in her. With Annie learning that it’s better to choose substance over physical attraction, it’s a film that reminds us how life is always full of opportunities to grow and find the kind of happiness we never knew we were actually yearning for.
Stream on Peacock
No Strings Attached
no strings attached
Starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher,No Strings Attachedwas funny and raunchy, but ultimately a sweet film too. The pair played Emma, a young doctor, and Adam, a production assistant. Though they have known each other a long time, they meet again as adults and start an “NSA” relationship. Despite agreeing to keep things this way, they wind up catching feelings anyway.
Although now an older film, given the modern world and the impact that things like social media and online dating have had on traditional relationships, this one is sure to resonate with many people. Its funny elements aside, the film’s sweet undertone shows us that despite our best efforts, undeniable connections are unavoidable when two people click in a relationship. Also, while still highly popular in modern society, many studies have shown thathook-up culture can be damaging. In this sense, although it may seem counter-intuitive to its own concept, the film actually acts more like a detractor of NSA relationships rather than a proponent of them, as many films are these days.
Stream on Paramount+
The Notebook
Anyone who’s read a Nicholas Sparks novel or watched a film based on one of them knows by noww that his stories are never straightforward happy tales of love.The Notebookis a great example of what they actually are; deeply moving and poignant stories that both tear at our heartstrings and delight the inner-romantics of us all.
Related:Nicholas Sparks: Every Movie Adaptation, Ranked
This one starred Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams as a young couple who are deeply in love but separated by their differences in social standing. When he leaves to fight in WWII, she ends up with someone else, but upon his return, it seems their story is far from over.
A film that straddles the boundaries of complications that are all too common in many relationships around the world, the barriers the couple faces remind us that love should, and usually does, find a way. However,being a Nicholas Sparks story, it also features a telling reason why it was namedThe Notebook,one that speaks of that old-school kind of true love that we read about but so rarely seem to ever find in modern relationships; a love that endures everything life throws at it, and that remains intact even if there’s no longer any benefit left in it for one partner, other than the loyalty and love they have for the other person.
Rent on Apple TV+
Before Sunset
Before Sunsetwas a captivating romance film that delves deeper into the nuances of love than most. It sees Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delphy) nine years after the events of the filmBefore Sunrise.It is the middle film in theBeforetrilogy, which is perhapsthe most realistic depictions of love in all cinema. The pair spent a night together in the first film, and Jesse wrote a book that describes it. While on a book tour for it, he meets Celine again, and they spend a day together this time. Despite him now having a son and the fact thatthey’re both in relationships, it’s still pretty evident that there remains a spark between them.
Great performances from the leads effectively communicate the intricacies of their situation. Romance films usually seek to gloss over the parts of love that don’t make for socially acceptable behavior. Yet this one confronts the fact that sometimes we end up with the wrong people in life, only to later long for the person we wish we could truly be with. It’s a gritty reality, but one that many people experience in their 30s after spending years in relationships that they were simply never meant to be in. For extra sweetness, watch the first filmBefore Sunrise, and for extra heartbreak and the conclusion of their lives, finish off the trilogy by watchingBefore Midnight.
Rent on Amazon and Apple TV+
Me Before You
The brilliant Emilia Clarke plays Louisa inMe Before You, and proved to be a perfect choice for the funny and effervescent character. Louisa works odd jobs all the time to help her family, but finds one that has a massive impact on her when she becomes a caregiver to Will Traynor (Sam Claflin), a wealthy young man who was left paralyzed from an accident. Will’s outlook is now bitter and cynical, especially since his girlfriend left him after his accident, but Louisa’s charms soon make him return to a semblance of happiness despite the tragic wish he has for himself.
Relationships in our 20s are often still filled with idealism and a willingness to cling to the dream of a fairytale-like existence where there’s always a happy ever after. In reality, life and relationships often show us that tragedy, happiness, meaning, and pain are all often intertwined simultaneously.Me Before Youillustrates this point with devastating poignancy as it simultaneously brings together two unlikely partners and paints their love story withboth beauty and tragedy.
Serendipity
Serendipity is a romantic comedy that follows the chance meeting of two strangers who leave their future together up to fate. Years later, they are each engaged to others yet find themselves compelled to seek out one another, relying on signs and serendipitous moments to guide their paths. The film explores themes of destiny, love, and the impact of seemingly random encounters on life’s journey.
Serendipitywas a 2001 romance film witha magical meet- cutethat saw New Yorker Johnathan Trager (John Cusack) and British expat Sara Thomas (Kate Beckinsale) meet by chance while Christmas shopping at Bloomingdale’s. There’s an undeniable attraction and connection between them from the beginning. They spend some time together and click instantly, though both are in serious relationships.
Though they are perfect strangers, Sara says that she lives her life according to fate and life’s “little signals.” The pair decideto leave it to destinyif their paths should ever cross again. As fate or luck would have it, they run in to each other again, though it takes a series of serendipitous events for them to realize that the paths they were both initially on were never where either of them were meant to be.
Related:10 Best Rom-Coms Where the Guy Falls in Love First
Charming performances from both leads make it impossible for audiences not to root for them to get together despite each being with other people. Sure, the film is a bit cheesy and contrived at times, but it’s done so magically that you can’t help but become wrapped up in their journey to find each other. A great example of how we can sometimes be so sure of ourselves only for our views to later change,Serendipityshows us how easily people tend to settle with the wrong partner by settling.
Stream on Max
The Break-Up
2006’sThe Break-Upwas a hit at the box office and paired Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston as a couple who take each other for granted with disastrous consequences. The pair go through some epic fights in the film,punctuated by a break-upthat turns the bond they once shared into a vindictive war between them.
By our 30s, most of us know all too well that relationships may seem perfect at one time, only to later disintegrate into emotional turmoil. The way the characters attempt to deliberately hurt each other after their break-up underscores a sad but very realistic portrayal of how many of us act in such situations. Despite this, the film’s dramatic edge amid all the comedy also made it a cautionary tale about how raging toxicity can often cause us to lose sight of the good in people when we allow ourselves to develop emotional tunnel vision in bad relationships.
Life Itself
If you’ve never seen this one,Life Itselfis an emotionally charged film that takes a look at love from many angles. While it initially sees two college sweethearts get together, grow their love, get married, and prepare to have their first child together, the film later spans wide differences in distance and time as it connects seemingly unconnected stories together in some very poignant, tragic, and deep ways.
By their 30s, the average person has likely already experienced a wide variety of human emotions, traversing everything from love and happiness totragic and heartbreakingmoments. With a stellar cast that included the likes of Olivia Wilde, Oscar Isaac, and Antonio Banderas, the appropriately namedLife Itselfis sad, but also hauntingly beautiful and moving in its meditations on life, love, and the duality between pain and happiness that can often be found in both.
The Holiday
InThe Holiday,two women who are both unlucky in love and live on opposite sides of the pond decide to swap homes for a change of environment. Iris (Kate Winslet) is a British woman who ends up in a huge Californian mansion, while Amanda (Cameron Diaz) swaps her opulent life for the quaint English village that Iris hails from. Both women end up meeting local men, who they findan ideal romantic escapadewith that helps them heal from their previous relationships.
Our world views on everything in life, including romance, can very often be shaped by our environments and the comfort zones they provide us. However,The Holidaywas a wonderfully charming film that shows us how broadening our horizons can often help us gain perspective.
Related:15 Unconventional Romance Movies For Those Looking For Something a Little Different
As a tonic for the jaded perspective of Iris and Amanda, the film provided a sweet and meaningful exploration of various themes that highlight how we can so often become stuck in the emotions brought on by toxic relationships. Amid the two highly talented leading ladies, the film also featured a fantastic supporting cast led by Jude Law and Jack Black, who were both brilliant in it.
